Thoughts on Hiring a Divorce Attorney, Part I

Talk to more than one attorney before selecting one. If you and your spouse are going to be arguing over temporary use of the house and money or access to the kids, this is crucial. If you anticipate an agreed uncontested divorce, this is less important. There are so many attorneys practicing family law, 300+ in Tarrant County alone. Select one that you feel that you can have rapport with. When I say rapport, I do not mean someone who tells you what you want to hear. You need the truth on the law and your situation. You don't want to be wooed into hiring an attorney because they convince you that you can get a settlement/court decision that is never going to materialize.

Each attorney has their own communication style. My style for example is very direct. Sugarcoating things is not in my nature. And I have practiced long enough that I don't have to try to be all things to all people. My earlier blog talks about living a life in accordance with your values. Directness is something that I value and it is the style in which I deliver legal services. That style is not for everyone. If you don't interview more than one attorney, you will not really know what you're getting without something to compare it to. And if your case is going to be litigated, (who knows that going in,) then you want to have a comfortable relationship with your attorney. I'm always surprised when I come across people who were afraid of their attorney, or who would do what ever the attorney said without questioning and understanding the reason for the advice.

I strive to give the same level of legal service to all clients. That being said, there is a certain "pleasure" to teaming up with the client that resonates with my style. How can the feeling not be reciprocal? Talk to more than one attorney before choosing one.

The best attorney for your divorce is not necessarily the same one that your friend or relative or coworker used.Selecting an equally skilled attorney over another based on communication style is just a part of selecting the best person to help you and your family to redefine yourself from married to single.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

Child Support Cap Increases in Texas effective September 2013

In Texas, the calculation of child support is straightforward.  It is based on a percentage of the Net Resources of the person who is paying child support.  The percentage is based on how many children support is being calculated for and how many other children that the person paying support has a duty of support for. If Net Resources are under the statutory cap, then the amount of support is presumptively correct.  The cap has been $7500 since 2007.

Legislation was enacted in 2007 to allow for an periodic automatic increase in the cap on net resources. 2013 is the year for this increase.  The attorney general's office published that the new cap is $8,550 per month of Net Resources.  This could mean an increase in support of  $200 per month or more.

Please be aware that the increase in support is not automatic.  A motion to modify child support must be filed in order to take advantage of this change in the Net Resources Cap.  if you are receiving child support from someone who is making in excess of $120,000 per year, it would be worth your while to explore the option of filing a modification in child support.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

Troubled Relationship? Divorce or Counseling?

I told you last year that I would tell you more about my dishwasher fixing story which relates to assessing the decision to stay together or get a divorce.

We bought a dishwasher eight years ago and it was fabulous. It would clean well and you could put the dishes in without washing them.

Recently it stopped cleaning. My husband, Carl, was ready to buy a new one.  I was convinced it was a fixable problem. Not willing to wait for my husband to look at it, I went to my "fix it" resource, YouTube.com, and researched the matter. I persevered and ultimately I diagnosed a blocked chopper and I cleaned it. Good as new.

It worked for about three months and then the same for a problem arose. I started looking at new dishwashers. Features we had on ours were only available on very expensive dishwashers. I decided to fix it again. This time I replaced the chopper blade rather than just cleaning it . Success again.

The different approaches of my husband and myself remind me of the different approaches people take when faced with a troubled relationship, and they are thinking about divorce.

Some are willing to bolt of the first sign of trouble- (buy a new one); some just hang in there without attempting to change any of the dynamics- (resolving to hand wash dishes), and some put time and effort into fixing what they have the power to fix hoping that will be enough to turn things around.  

Which kind of person are you? Awareness of your own approach to marital difficulties as well as observing your partner’s approach to trouble in the marriage can be a starting point in shifting your perspective or resolving to investigate solutions. This becomes part of your decision-making process. Unfortunately, the kind of person that you are doesn't change whether or not the relationship is fixable if it is broken beyond repair.  You can work at it for years and never get anywhere.  

A few takeaways.

1.  Moderation in all things.

2.  If everyone says there is a problem including your divorce attorney there probably is.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

Divorced? Getting what you want from ex or really anyone.

Bill Eddy was a Licensed Mental Health professional before he became an attorney. He has some really good information to say about getting what you want through proposals. Diane

© 2013 by Bill Eddy

Any problem in the past can be turned into a proposal about the future. Proposals don’t have to be complicated. You can just blurt one out during a conversation with anyone or during a meeting with any group. Proposals get attention, because they are solutions to past problems by focusing on the future. Most of us are relieved to talk about the future, rather than what we’ve done wrong in the past. On the other hand, most of us easily slip into talking about the past – or even get stuck talking about the past – including what everyone else has done wrong. This article focuses on how to make proposals in a way that is easy and can be done at any time.

Full article here
For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

New Video- Is Texas a 50-50 Divorce State?

http://youtu.be/c9xsZyfmOoo
This is the first video in a series on Myths that people have about Texas Divorce Laws

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

Trying New Technology

Okay,  I am trying it.  This is my first foray into youtube videos.  This is not so informational, but future ones will be.  I am just excited that I figured out how to do this.  Did I tell you how I fixed my dishwasher last week.  I am actually more proud of that.  No man help.  I will tell you more later.
Diane Wanger from 2012 Advanced Family Law Conference in Houston

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
304 Harwood Road
Bedford, Texas
817-285-2855
texasfamilylaw.info

DIY Divorce Forms in Texas On Rise

There is a huge uproar in the legal community among professionals who practice family law.  It centers around the decision of the Supreme Court to offer DIY  forms for divorce matters. 

Family law has complexities that cannot be adequately represented with a fill-in-the-blank form.  If you are in a marriage and there are no children and no property, then the forms might be correctly used.  However, as a cautionary note, while people accurately know if they have children, they often do not accurately know if they have property as it relates to a divorce.

People have vehicles, boats, trailers, clothes, furniture, retirement accounts, stocks, mutual funds, real estate (house), mineral leases (gas lease), digital assets (internet accounts, website URLs) reproductive assets, and other things that they don't realize have an impact on how the decree should be drafted.

I have yet to review a form decree that was drafted correctly where children were concerned. Sometimes the forms have no or defective terms for child support and parenting provisions.  Imagine a case where child support is drafted in a manner that makes it unenforceable by contempt.

In Texas we have separate property and community property.  There are clear rules as to what is what and how that characterization can be changed.  It is very common for people I see in divorce consultations to have mistaken understandings of property law.  Because they received legal advice, it was not a problem, but I worry about how many people are out there that forge ahead with their incorrect ideas.

All this is to say that if you are going to try to do your divorce on your own with forms, I recommend that you have an attorney review your final paperwork.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger

Board Certified Family Law Attorney

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855

Always Learning more about Divorce

I was in Austin earlier this year at a continuing legal education seminar on Collaborative Law. We had a speaker who explained that brain research shows how humans under stress will grab at the first solution that they see as solving the "issue". That is true even if they have been trained to investigate and look for multiple options to be reviewed for the best result.

What does this have to do with divorce? One of the principal benefits to Collaborative Law as a divorce process is its emphasis on creative problem solving and interest based negotiations.

For the professionals in the field (for example, me) it is frustrating that clients are often so anxious to get to the settlement immediately that they don't want to fully develop settlement possibilities. Considering the amount of stress during divorce it is not surprising that clients latch on to the first option they perceive as "working".  The brain under stress does not innately have the capacity to "wait" for the creation of a more optimal solution.


Collaborative Law has the ability to lower the stress level of the process in a way that allows clients to be more open to a full inquiry of possibilities of settlement. 

Even if you are not in a Collaborative Divorce process it is worthwhile to remind yourself of the limits of the human brain under stress.  It is often difficult to  see what the "issues" are.  Even more difficult is to be calm when thinking about the options.  With hope, you have hired a divorce professional with expertise in trying open your mind to possibilities that you cannot conceive of as solutions.  If you have found such an individual, take advantage of that skill.  Not every attorney has it.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
Board Certified Family Law Attorney

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855

New Year

Here's a double double wish for a Happy New Year.  Not only is it after 1-1-12, but the Chinese New Year  is today.  This is the Year of the Dragon.  The symbol Dragon in the East is not a threatening evil as is in the West.  The Dragon to the Chinese is a symbol of among other things, power. Now, not all of us have been born in the year of the Dragon.  But, I think it would be empowering to think about the qualities of the Dragon and take that feeling of power and infuse it into your thinking about divorce.

How to do that, to have "power" in your divorce?  One way is to choose to divorce using Collaborative Law. Collaborative Law is a process that I have been doing for 10 years.  It is interdisciplinary.  That means that in addition to having an attorney and your spouse having an attorney, there is also at least a neutral communications facilitator and maybe a financial specialist and/or child specialist.  The professional team guides your case along in a way that will maximize results for you and your children.  There is a lot more to say about this fantastic process and I would love to tell you about it if you come see me.

What does Collaborative Law have to do with power? In Collaborative Law you and your spouse contract to do your divorce outside of the court system.  That means that you and your spouse are able to design your divorce on your own timetable, in private, not at the courthouse and you utilize neutral specialists as needed.  It is the most powerful and empowering way to divorce bar none.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
817-285-2855

Does Your Life Reflect Your Values?

I was flying back from vacation, flipping through the audio tracks and came across a talk show where the lady was saying "you can't be living a rich life and living someone else's values". Oh how true.

Many times when people see me about a divorce they are far from taking that final step to start the divorce process.  They are still trying to understand what divorce will mean to  their lifestyle.  Sometimes I see people fixating on appearances, status and material things and not focusing on their own happiness and mental well-being.

If you can have a peaceful evening with the children that is carefree and "fun" it goes a long way to making up for living in a smaller place or having to be more careful about money. Your children really just want mom and dad. They adjust to physical surroundings far quicker than we give them credit for.

Are you living a life in accordance with your values? Do you even know what your values are?  How is your life going to change if you get a divorce? If you're contemplating divorce I would recommend searching your deepest thoughts and feelings about this issue.

A rich inner life beats a rich external life any day.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger
Board Certified Family Law Attorney

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855