Overwhelmed during divorce? Take little steps.

When I was in Alaska I took a shuttle up to climb Flattop Mountain which overlooks Anchorage. Why am I telling you this? Well, I used to be in superb shape, both in strength and cardio. The last 3 to 4 years have been an adjustment downwards in ability.  Anyway, this hike was an extraordinarily difficult for me, at least based upon the expectations I had for myself. I was constantly wanting to quit. But I didn't. I adjusted by just making my goal little steps-make it up that flight of railroad ties, go just to that rock. That put the task into discrete little parts that seem doable. They all added up to summiting.

Divorce can be like that. Overwhelming, where you just want to quit. Quitting is not an option in the same way that climbing a mountain is. Still, taking one step at a time and then resting is more doable than thinking about the entire task ahead of you.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by your divorce, talk to your attorney or counselor about how to break down the steps into discrete understandable steps. You do have a counselor don't you? That's a conversation for another day -why you need a counselor when going through divorce.

Well, I made it it up and down the mountain eventually-and then I had a 13 mile bike ride back to town. Did I tell you that I was exhausted when I returned?

Oh, did I mention that the weather was in the 60s to 70s? Heaven.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855

Alaska is a Cool place to Update Legal Skills for Divorce

I just got back from Alaska going to continuing educational training on collaborative law. For those that don't know, that is a way of doing a divorce or other dispute, outside of the court system. It is always inspiring to me to see how different people handle the skills necessary to do my job well. Collaborative law  more than a traditional practice of law emphasizes the importance of effective communication.

My 28 years of practice shows me that lack of communication skills is a huge contributing factor to marriage breakups. A significant advantage to collaborative law over traditional divorce litigation is that it is interdisciplinary.  That means we use for example, mental health practitioners as "family relationship specialists" or "communication facilitators" and financial specialists.  This allows many needs divorcing people have to be met in a way that would never be addressed during a more standard divorce process.

I'm really impressed that the collaborative law movement is aware of the cutting edge of science and its relevance to our practice. In October of this year, the International Association of Collaborative Professionals is having the annual forum which I hope to attend. It features as the keynote speaker a Dan Ariely, abehavioral economist. He studies the brain and how it works vis-à-vis decision-making. This is an understanding hugely important in my being able to better serve my clients.

Oh, did I mention that the weather was in the 60s to 70s? Heaven.

For Smart Divorce in Texas


Diane M. Wanger
www.texasfamilylaw.info
817-285-2855