Why You Need a Counselor during Divorce

Divorce-the act of disconnecting your identity from that of another person. 

It's is a pretty major move when we talk about changing our identity. It can be unsettling for the person who is affirmatively seeking divorce. For the person to whom divorce is the  farthest thing from their minds, it can be downright frightening and gut wrenching. Really, isn't it hard enough to figure out who "we are" beyond the roles that we play of spouse, parent, co-worker. How much harder then is it to try to figure out who we will be when the divorce is final. Our roles do change with divorce. How they will change is not so easily perceived when we're in the middle of the divorcing process. This uncertainty of identity/roles can lead to making decisions during the divorce that do not always serve our highest interest. How can we make an informed, well thought out decision when we see our old life slipping away under someone else's control?

One of the reasons I suggest counseling to my clients is that a good counselor is able to help put events in perspective, provide coping mechanisms, help you craft the identity that you want after divorce. Doesn't the idea of a knowledgeable professional or two being on your team to get you from point A to point B sound attractive? Not only do you not have to do it alone, you will likely do it with less heartache for you and your children with knowledgeable professionals helping you. Divorce in the best of circumstances is a difficult process to go through. 

Please see a counselor. Even before you even file. It is a great thing you can do for yourself and your family and it sets you up for a more successful divorce.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855

Overwhelmed during divorce? Take little steps.

When I was in Alaska I took a shuttle up to climb Flattop Mountain which overlooks Anchorage. Why am I telling you this? Well, I used to be in superb shape, both in strength and cardio. The last 3 to 4 years have been an adjustment downwards in ability.  Anyway, this hike was an extraordinarily difficult for me, at least based upon the expectations I had for myself. I was constantly wanting to quit. But I didn't. I adjusted by just making my goal little steps-make it up that flight of railroad ties, go just to that rock. That put the task into discrete little parts that seem doable. They all added up to summiting.

Divorce can be like that. Overwhelming, where you just want to quit. Quitting is not an option in the same way that climbing a mountain is. Still, taking one step at a time and then resting is more doable than thinking about the entire task ahead of you.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by your divorce, talk to your attorney or counselor about how to break down the steps into discrete understandable steps. You do have a counselor don't you? That's a conversation for another day -why you need a counselor when going through divorce.

Well, I made it it up and down the mountain eventually-and then I had a 13 mile bike ride back to town. Did I tell you that I was exhausted when I returned?

Oh, did I mention that the weather was in the 60s to 70s? Heaven.

For Smart Divorce in Texas

Diane M. Wanger

www.texasfamilylaw.info

817-285-2855